


Banging Cute Meat - A Variation on the MacDen Bed Scene

by Gouryellan



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Adult Content, Canon Divergence, Canon Gay Character, Canon Typical Misogyny, Canon-Typical Behavior, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Male Character, Get Together, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pining, Season 14 Spoilers, Season 14 remix, Spoilers, s14e01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2020-11-07 16:54:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20820644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gouryellan/pseuds/Gouryellan
Summary: Dennis grasped at the fabric of the old fitted sheet beneath him. The cotton felt cheap and like it probably hadn’t been washed in weeks.This wasn’t the first time they had shared a bed, so Dennis couldn’t say that it was the proximity that was making him feel so uneasy. This was really nothing special.Except that this time, it felt different.





	1. Chapter 1

Banging Cute Meat - A Variation on the MacDen Bed Scene

It was night. The middle of the night probably. Dennis could tell by the position of the shadows cast on the ceiling of Mac’s bedroom. 

Actually, that was total bullshit. Dennis had no idea what time it was, he just knew that he’d been lying there for what felt like hours, anchored to the bed with a dreaded heaviness; having been dragged into yet another scheme that had more or less backfired.

He wasn’t sure how he had even been talked into it all. Mac was always so charmingly convincing when he had an idea that he was passionate about. He had come home one day, after one too many rom-coms, and probably far too many energy drinks to boot, with a plan to make some extra money, and get Dennis laid in the process. Two for one special. It had all seemed so easy the way Mac explained it, all Dennis had to do was _show up and be his irresistible self_, Mac had promised. And now here they were, inches apart in Mac’s dingy bedroom pretending to be asleep, while the intended target of this operation used Dennis’ expertly cultivated bedroom as an opportunity to fuck her husband and not have to clean the sheets afterwards.

This was all wrong. Dennis could feel the migraine begin to rap at the area just above his eyebrows. Why hadn’t Mac turned off the light? If they were supposed to be asleep, like normal people, why were all the lights still on? He wanted to check the time, to see how much longer before he could excuse himself. To get up and make a pot of coffee and put this all behind him, but he could not will his arm up to check the time on his watch. And he couldn’t close his eyes, because the anxious thoughts were inside, waiting for him to get comfortable, so they could ease themselves into his consciousness. So there he was forced to remain, staring up at ceiling, watching the shadows slowly make their way from one side of the room to the other. Tomorrow, if the couple was still here, he would sleep on the couch, away from the bewildering warmth of Mac’s body, the smell of drug store body wash, Drakar Noir, and sandalwood scented religious candles. 

Dennis grasped at the fabric of the old fitted sheet beneath him. The cotton felt cheap and like it probably hadn’t been washed in weeks. He swallowed around the lump in his throat that had been growing in size, but it just wouldn’t desist. This wasn’t the first time they had shared a bed, so Dennis couldn’t say that it was the proximity that was making him feel so uneasy. To be honest, they’d shared a bed for months with Dee and Old Black Man, and oftentimes had been pressed together much closer than this, so this was really nothing special.

Except that this time, it _felt _different. He remembered a lecture from a course in college he had taken about emotional salience. How things that felt more significant, although being objectively irrelevant, weighed heavier on the mind. He was acutely aware of the feeling of Mac’s elbow pressed into the side of his arm. He could feel the eagerness emanating from Mac’s expression, because he believed that everything was going so well. Dennis wanted so desperately to tell him that he wanted out of this plan, that he truthfully had 0 interest in sleeping with this woman, or really anyone of late. That he had actually unintentionally thought about kissing Mac so often lately, that he actively had to remind himself that it had never happened. Because if it had, then, it would have to mean something. If he let himself go to that place, then he would have to let go of everything he’d constructed so carefully over the last 40 something years. 

He wished he could reach his arm across the mattress for Mac’s hand, but they were both clasped together pressed between the pillow under his head. He considered berating Mac for not offering him his only pillow, what kind of Air BnB host was he, after all? He knew that if he asked, Mac would surrender the pillow without hesitation, when really, it was his chest that he wanted to rest his head on. That’s what they both wanted, but neither one of them would say so. This was all just so stupid. He was uncomfortable and tired, and the dull ache between his eyes had begun to throb.

He hadn’t realized he’d been holding his breath until a staggered desperate whimper escaped from his chest on the exhale.

“What is this, man?” he finally asked, feeling beginning to return to his extremities. “What are we doing? I don’t wanna do this anymore, can we stop?” Dennis wasn’t even sure what he meant by the question. He just knew that he was feeling suffocated, like his clothes, even his skin was too tight.

He could see in his periphery that Mac’s expression had deflated and he looked disheartened._Fuck_, Dennis thought to himself. He knew he was going to say the wrong thing. He sat up, wanting to put distance between himself and the growing awkwardness of this situation.

“Huh?” Mac questioned. “No, we can’t stop now, we’re right on track.” His voice sounded faintly distressed, like he could tell that Dennis was about to bolt.

“I dunno, it just feels like a...a lot of effort. It feels desperate. You know what I mean? Like I — I never put this much work into banging some cute meat.” Dennis winced, acknowledging the blatant dishonesty of that statement. He was sure Mac would call him out for it, but surprisingly he didn’t. Instead, Mac pushed himself up into a seated position behind him.

His exhale sounded like a grunt. “Okay…” Mac began. “So, whatever, we can kick them out tomorrow, okay?” Dennis didn’t react. “I’ll make sure it’s single guests only from now on.”

Dennis sighed and turned around to face Mac.

“No, I – “ He was cut off by the sound of the couple arguing in the next room. He couldn’t make out more than a couple of words, but he could tell that it sounded fresh, like whatever they were disagreeing about was not an old wound. “Great, so not only did this plan not work, but you’ve invited lunatics into our home that yell in the middle of the goddamn night.”

“Alright, alright”, Mac conceded. “_Okay_.” He reached across, and grazed Dennis’ shoulder with his fingertips in reassurance. “I’ll tell them that it was a mix-up tomorrow, and that they need to find another place to stay.”

Dennis squared his shoulders and sighed in contented relief. “You’re washing my sheets, though, asshole.” He smiled briefly. “And while you’re at it, wash yours too, for Christ’s sake.”

Mac rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, sticking his tongue out for emphasis. “My sheets are clean enough, _Dennis_.”

Dennis quirked his eyebrow and scoffed, ignoring the fact that he found the recent change in Mac’s mannerisms to be both endearing and kind of sexy. Even the way he said his name was kind of a turn on. He contemplated wiping the pout off his lips by pressing them against his own, but he wasn’t going to do that. “Can we just go to sleep?” He whined.

Mac pursed his lips together and nodded once. “Yeah, let’s – let’s just go to sleep, I guess”, he agreed, like the idea had been his own from the beginning.

Dennis stood slowly, and began to make his way toward the bedroom door when an obnoxious squawking noise cut through the muffled sounds of the arguing couple. He whipped around to look at Mac, whose expression was twisted into something alarming. “What the hell is that noise”, Dennis asked, brows knitted together in concern. “Is there, did they bring an animal with them? Damnit, Mac, I said no animals. Make them get rid of it, right now!” 

Mac shook his head rapidly, holding his arms up and flailing them in an attempt to get Dennis’ attention. He held his finger up to his mouth, silently urging him to be quiet. Dennis sneered at the literal headache that this whole thing was turning into.

“Dee”, Mac mouthed inaudibly.

This time, Dennis rolled his eyes, glaring at Mac in disbelief. Before he could say anything else, Mac reached forward, and tugged on Dennis’ wrist, pulling him clumsily back onto the bed. “_Shit_, dude”, Dennis hissed. “What the fuck are you doing?”

Mac’s face contorted into a grimace when the sound of Dee’s talons scraped along the door, demanding entry. “I forgot I called her over for reinforcement. – _Shit_.”

“Well make her go away!”, Dennis complained.

Mac waved his hand, like he was somehow taking care of it, by just sitting there, willing her to fly back out the window, or directly into it. He swiped at the bedside lamp, knocking into it as he turned off the light.

“_Open up, you goddamn assholes!_” Dee’s voice asserted from outside the door. “I can hear you whispering.”

Mac sat there like a dumb statue for a few more moments, holding his hand up, until they both heard her grumble and walk out of the apartment. She muttered something about dickbags wasting her time before the door shut behind her. Mac’s shoulders slumped forward in relief. “That was a close one”, he muttered, glancing up at Dennis, who was biting his lower lip in bemusement.

Mac shifted his weight and lay back down, resting one arm behind his head, and the other on his stomach. “Well?”, he asked.

“Well, what?”

“I thought you were going to bed.”

“In this orchestra of a circus? With birds flying in and out of our apartment at all hours of the night, and manic strangers hate banging each other in my bed? I mean, my room is supposed to be soundproof, Mac, how are we even hearing this right now?”

Mac didn’t respond. His eyes had fallen shut, and he patted the area beside him, wordlessly instructing Dennis to lay down.

Dennis contemplated resisting, putting up a fight, but the late hour combined with the way Mac’s chest was rising and falling with every deep, fatigue-heavy breath, caused him to position himself back on his side of the bed.

“Are you not going to offer your guest a pillow?” Dennis jokingly asked.

Mac chuckled and unfolded the pillow, offering a generous amount to him in response. Dennis scooted closer, tentatively, facing away from his roommate, and lowered his head gingerly onto the pillow. It smelled overwhelmingly like the hair gel he used to wear. It long must have seeped into the stuffing, since he was fairly certain Mac had not worn product in his hair in several years.

He felt Mac turn toward him, knuckles falling lazily into the space between them. Dennis instinctively nestled into the crook of his body, and lifted his arm, allowing Mac to drape his arm around his waist. He hummed faintly when Mac pulled him closer. This didn’t count, he thought to himself. Whatever this was, whatever it was supposed to mean, he couldn’t bother himself with it right now. This seemed like tomorrow’s problem. And tomorrow, for all intents and purposes was worlds away.

***

Dennis rolled over and opened his eyes. The room was still dark, but he could see Mac’s features clearly. His eyes were softly closed and his mouth was parted just so, sunken into a slight pout. Dennis’ chest fluttered when he realized how close he was to his friend’s face, each exhale tickling him with warmth. Without thinking, he leaned forward and skirted his lips along the edge of Mac’s chin, taking great care in not waking him.

Despite his best effort, Mac stirred, and his lips twitched into an unmistakable smile. “Wha’re you doing”, he croaked, voice heavy with sleep.

Dennis lay there, paralyzed, unable to move or speak. ‘_idiot, idiot, IDIOT_’, he thought to himself. Mac sleepily slunk his arm around his back, and pulled himself closer. Dennis swallowed hard, and waited feverishly as Mac closed the distance between them. The kiss probably wasn’t very good, if he was being honest. Both men were still mostly asleep, but the feeling of Mac’s face against his, as their mouths parted and tongues met for the first time, sent shockwaves throughout his entire existence. Mac keened as Dennis nibbled at his lower lip. The smacking and clicking of their tongues made Dennis feel like he was under water. Mac hummed, pulling away, and pressing his lips against Dennis’ furrowed brow. “S’about goddamn time”, he muttered groggily.

Dennis groaned, consciousness flooding back to him. “Mac. I swear to god, if you tell _anyone _about this, I will—”

“You’ll what”, Mac cut him off, opening his eyes to squint at him through his lashes.

Dennis clicked his tongue. “Oh, _fuuuuck _you.”

Mac chuckled. “Promise?”

Dennis feigned crying sounds as he leaned his face into Mac’s chest. “You goddamn asshole”, he said muffled against the fabric of his hoodie. He let out a cathartic grumble, as Mac ran his fingertips up and down the length of his spine.

“_You’re _an asshole”, Mac answered, cleverly, already falling back to sleep.

Dennis sighed again, and closed his eyes, as his heartbeat began to regain normalcy. Suddenly, tomorrow didn't seem so bad after all. 


	2. Oops Another Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mac”, he retorted, recoiling his head slightly in surprise.
> 
> Mac flushed pink. He could feel the warmth in his cheeks spreading, giving himself away entirely. “Yeah I uh – “, he replied, tugging on the waist of the shirt. “It’s a little – “ 
> 
> “You look…”, Mac waited for it. ‘Ridiculous, stupid, fat, disgusting,’
> 
> “Incredible.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot, but I found myself wondering "but what about the NEXT day?" 
> 
> Again, editing is not a friend of mine, I have never met her.

Mac startled awake on an inhale. He knew it was morning without having to open his eyes, since sunlight had been pouring in through the half-pulled blinds. His linen blanket was resting just below his waist, but it was still making him uncomfortably hot. His long sleeve shirt had gotten twisted up in the middle of the night, and felt as if it was strangling him. He considered sitting up to rip it off and throw it across the room, but he was distracted by the feeling of an unfamiliar presence beside him, when suddenly he remembered.

_Dennis_.

He blinked his eyes open as best he could without rubbing them with his palms, and was overcome with a flood of relief. It wasn’t a dream. They had spent the night together. Dennis appeared to still be asleep. He was facing the other direction, and somehow had managed to not only pilfer most of the covers, but also the entire pillow. His loose curls were disheveled and matted down from sleep. The corner of Mac’s mouth lifted instinctively. He could get used to this. He selfishly hoped the couple using Dennis’ room needed to extend their stay indefinitely so that he and Dennis would have no other option but to continue this arrangement. He’d probably need to invest in another pillow or two, though, and maybe some nicer sheets. The higher thread count kind that Dennis liked, perhaps. Mac allowed himself a moment or two with these thoughts before reluctantly letting them go. He sighed, and reached for his phone on the bedside table. It read 9:34 AM.

A stifled sigh came from Dennis’ side of the bed as he rolled over onto his back and dropped his wrist down onto his forehead. “Time’s it?” He asked, eyes still adjusting to the morning light.

“Uh, just about 9:30”, Mac answered, trying to sound relaxed, but his heart was already beginning to beat faster.

“Mmmph”, Dennis acknowledged, taking another deep breath and scooting up into a seated position. “My phone over there?” His voice still thick with sleep.

Mac glanced around the table and down around his immediate vicinity. “Uh, no. Uh yeah”, he grabbed it from the area of the floor next to the table. It must have fallen at some point during the night while they were asleep or –

“Here”, he said, passing it off to Dennis, eyes fixed on nothing in particular.

Dennis plucked it from his hands without saying anything; he looked irritated, or maybe just tired. Mac couldn’t tell, exactly.

“Goddamn, dude, how is your room so hot?”, He finally said, yanking at the neck of his shirt, and kicking off the rest of the covers.

Mac wanted to say it was because they were two grown men fully clothed sharing a bed; men who had spent the better part of the previous night with their limbs and bodies intertwined like vines up a trellis. All they had done was spoon and share one kiss, but it was the best foreplay he’d had in…ever. He wanted to say all of those things, but he didn’t. He settled for a shrug.

Dennis furrowed his brows in what looked like disapproval. “I’m gonna take a shower”, he paused, “ah, shit.”

“Shit what”, Mac asked, confused.

He made a displeased noise with his mouth. “That couple, the one in MY room”, he emphasized. “I don’t have anything to wear.”

“Oh, I uh”, Mac pondered. “I could go in there and grab you something…or…”

Dennis looked up at him, eyes foggy blue and piercing, “or what”, he insisted.

“You could just wear something of mine.”

Dennis looked amused. “Do you even have any clean clothes, dude?”

Mac’s heart thumped in his chest. “Yeah of course I –“ he jumped up, suddenly desperate to find something. He kneeled in front of his dresser and began anxiously rifling through his drawers. “Here, these are clean.” He handed Dennis a wadded pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, sleeves still intact, a shirt that more likely than not had belonged to Dennis at one point in time.

“Thanks”, Dennis chuckled, taking the garments from Mac with the ghost of a smile on his lips. He opened the door, and took note of how his own bedroom door was open, and unoccupied. He tossed the clothes back on Mac’s undressed mattress. “Ne’ermind”, he said.

Mac sat in the kitchen while Dennis showered, mindlessly sipping a cup of flavored coffee. He watched the clouds of unstirred creamer swirl and billow each time he blew on the hot liquid before taking in a mouthful. When he heard the water turn off, he readjusted himself in his seat, so he could see Dennis when he came out.

Dennis emerged from his room dressed in his plaid robe, hair wrapped up in a towel. His face looked shaven, scrubbed and moisturized. Mac bit the corner of his lower lip as he thought about what it might be like to trail kisses along the edge of his jaw. ‘_Not now’_, he thought to himself, chasing away the thoughts just as quickly as they had surfaced.

“So”, Dennis said, pulling out a chair to sit beside his roommate. Mac flinched a little bit, when Dennis skirted a finger across the coffee mug and dragged it away from his hand to have a sip. He grimaced at the taste, shaking his head in disappointment. “We should do something.” He said, swallowing as he placed the mug back down in front of Mac.

“Do something?” Mac repeated, looking cautiously optimistic.

“Yeah, like I dunno dinner or something, right?”

Mac blanched slightly; he felt his pulse begin to thud erratically in his ears. He looked up at Dennis who appeared to be smiling sincerely. He watched Mac for a beat or two, waiting for a response, before his expression softened. “No?”

Mac’s mouth fell open. “No! – I mean no, yes, definitely dinner, yeah. Yes.” He paused. “But Dennis, we just had our monthly dinner, like _last_week.”

Dennis’ hand reached toward the coffee mug again briefly, before he changed his mind. “So?”

“So…you want to have another one?”

Dennis groaned, flaring his nostrils in what appeared to be annoyance. “No. I want.” He hesitated, selecting his words cautiously. “I want to go to _dinner_.” He looked mildly pained. “_With you_.”

Mac’s cheeks flushed scarlet as the significance of Dennis’ suggestion registered. “Den, are you asking me – “

“Don’t.” Dennis raised his hand up, urging Mac not to finish. “Just.” He sighed. “Just, let’s go out tonight, okay?” 

Mac’s sheepish smile evolved into a full-fledged grin – the kind of smile that caused his eyebrows to arch together and make his doe-brown eyes look like pools of honey. He tried to keep his emotions at bay, but when it came to Dennis, he was downright awful at moderation. He nodded his head jerkily. “D’ya wanna go like now?”

“Mac, it’s 10:30 in the morning. The only places serving dinner right now, I would not want to show my face in.”

“Okay…so where _do_you want to go?” He emphasized.

“Uh – I don’t know, I hadn’t gotten that far. I just figured we’d go to Guigino’s or something. Why? Do you want to go somewhere new?”

“Mnn-mmm”, Mac shook his head. “No, dude. Guigino’s is kinda perfect.”

“Yeah”, Dennis chuckled.

\--------------------

The next 8 hours dragged by painstakingly slow. By noon, Mac had grown so impatient, he decided to go to the gym for a couple hours, despite having made the decision earlier that it would be an off day. Besides, a workout would give him a great pump for later, one that would most certainly impress Dennis.

He didn’t want to read too much into the meaning of his and Dennis’ date, er, dinner, but he couldn’t help himself. Not 12 hours ago, he had finally felt what it was like to open mouth kiss his best friend. It had been something he’d quietly ached for, for what felt like forever. The thought had built a home for itself in Mac’s subconscious, ever-present, though not always naggingly apparent. And now. Now, he _knew_what Dennis’ tongue felt like against his, knew what it tasted like. He’d heard Dennis sigh and moan, however briefly. And what was more significant, was that _he_had been the one to do that. ‘_Shit’_, he thought to himself. He didn’t want to drop the barbell on his head or get a boner while doing a bench press. He racked the bar, and sat up, grabbing his towel to wipe the condensation from the bench. Maybe he should do something a little less risky, he reasoned.

He grabbed his water bottle and phone and made his way over to the aisle of seated rowers, placing them down beside one of the machines. As soon as he sat down, and grabbed the handles, Dennis’ lips were back on his, trailing warm wet languid kisses along the length of his mouth. ‘_Shit, shit’_, he thought, shaking his head.

45 minutes later, he had managed to power through the rest of his workout relatively unscathed, and he was feeling, in a word, exceptional. He recalled that the last time he felt this empowered was probably the day that he decided to take charge of his life by coming out to his friends. Or maybe even when he had come out to his dad, although that felt more like a cathartic release than a feeling of empowerment. Either way, he was feeling categorically optimistic about things, and found that he was allowing this cautious optimism to err on the side of excitement.

When he returned home, the apartment was empty. Lisa and Greg were still out, or maybe they’d decided to leave entirely – Mac didn’t really care regardless. But Dennis wasn’t home either.

When Dennis did finally return home a couple hours later, Mac was in his room, looking for an outfit that wasn’t cut up, faded or stained. He glowered at the available options in his closet, making a mental note that _as a gay man _in his 40s, he should really update his wardrobe. He reached for the sleeve of the lone dark grey button down that he had set aside for special occasions – a shirt that Dennis had bought him one time after criticizing him endlessly for only ever wearing polo shirts to dinner. He had come home and thrown the Nordstrom bag at his face, calling him an uncouth barbarian who wouldn’t know proper attire if it accosted him in the middle of the night. Just to spite him, Mac intentionally never wore the shirt, not once. He pulled the garment off the hanger, and inspected it, unsure of whether would fit him since he had bulked up significantly in the last couple of years. Fortunately, since Dennis always saw Mac as a fat ugly slob (or so he alleged), he had purchased a Large. Mac sighed blithely. “This’ll do”, he said aloud to himself.

Mac inspected the finished product in the mirror. He’d tucked the button down into a newer, tighter fitting pair of navy Dickies, cinched at the waist with a black leather belt. The dress shoes he was wearing were uncomfortable and tight, but his only other shoes were worn out combat boots and his gym shoes – neither of which seemed appropriate for…the occasion. He’d splashed a generous amount of Drakar Noir cologne on his wrists and collar, purposefully reminding himself to not also wear the Calvin Klein or Amani colognes he had. No; one cologne was enough. He ran his palms down the sides of his bearded face, and paused. ‘_Shit’_, he thought, realizing he probably should have shaved. Before he talked himself out of the da-dinner entirely, he decided to wait out in the living room.

He pulled open his bedroom door, and was startled to see Dennis looking back at him from the threshold of his own room. Dennis’ expression looked vaguely alarmed. He was clad in a signature dark blue collared shirt with thin vertical pinstripes. He’d traded his usual jeans for a pair of black slacks and it looked as if he had gotten a haircut because his curls looked less coiffed than usual. 

“_Mac_”, he retorted, recoiling his head slightly in surprise.

Mac flushed pink. He could feel the warmth in his cheeks spreading, giving himself away entirely. “Yeah I uh – “, he replied, tugging on the waist of the shirt. “It’s a little – “ 

“You look…”, Mac waited for it. ‘_Ridiculous, stupid, fat, disgusting,_’

“Incredible.” 

“I do?” Mac almost swallowed his tongue.

“That’s the shirt I bought for you”, Dennis remarked, matter-of-factly.

“Uh, um, yeah.”

“I have good taste”, Dennis added, smirking almost undetectably. Mac wasn’t sure if he meant the shirt or him, but he told himself to focus on his breathing instead, so he didn’t pass out before the d-dinner. “Shall we?” Asked Dennis.

Mac nodded. “You look good too, by the way. I mean, great, you look great.”

“I know, buddy. Thanks,” he smiled, as he pulled his arm behind Mac, resting his fingertips in the small of his back, guiding him toward the door. 

Guigino’s was more crowded than usual, which was peculiar for a Thursday night. The hostess conspicuously rolled her eyes when she recognized the dynamic duo standing at the entrance of the restaurant, but chose not to say anything pointed as she showed the two gentlemen to their table in one of the far corners of the dining area. Mac didn’t recognize the server who brought them their menus and water glasses, and was relieved to find that he didn’t seem quite as incompetent as the usual waitstaff they had on hand.

“So, what looks good to you”, Mac asked glancing up from his menu to catch a glimpse of his roommate from across the table. Dennis looked nonplussed, or even bored, and Mac attempted to settle his nerves by reminding himself, that that was just Dennis.

Dennis sighed and flipped the menu shut. “Honestly, nothing. The quality of this restaurant has been on a steady decline for years. I find it almost insulting. They never update their menu, and when they do, it’s always for some trendy seasonal item that is almost always sold out or overpriced. That being said, I will probably get the braised duck.” He took a long deliberate sip of his wine.

Mac nodded lazily in response, eyes still fixed on Dennis who hadn’t looked up from his downcast gaze. He cleared his throat. “Yeah. I’m thinking the skirt steak for me. I need the protein.” Mac couldn’t tell if Dennis had laughed at that or not, but he finally squinted his eyes from the table cloth, and gave him a look of mild amusement.

The rest of dinner was distinct in a very unsettling way. Everything felt strangely familiar but also ostentatious and new. Like the fuzzy Deja vu of a dream he couldn’t quite remember, and the harder he tried, the more it slipped from his grasp, like smoke.Despite his best efforts, Mac felt like he had done something wrong. There was an indiscernible shift in tone, and he felt like Dennis wanted to be anywhere but here with him.

“I benched 280 today. Not my personal best, but still pretty good considering I didn’t get that much sleep last night.”

Dennis flinched. “Yeah.”

“…Ssssooo how was your day?” He looked up, hoping to catch a signal that the evening was not going as horribly as he felt it was.

Swirling his wine glass and looking down at the table cloth with a vague expression, he answered. “Was fine.”

Mac’s stomach jumped. “Do you want more wine?” He asked, reaching for the bottle. Maybe if Dennis got a little drunker, he’d relax. He’d be less guarded, more touchy. He’d make eye contact.

“Nah”, he set the wine glass down by its stem. He finally looked up at Mac, eyebrows pressed together. “Can we go actually? I don’t wanna be here...I think this was a bad idea.”

Mac’s stomach plummeted. He could feel his pulse thudding in his ears again, and a stinging sensation in the back of his throat. If he was younger he may have cried, but he took a deep breath, and placed his hands face down on the table. “Sure”, he answered, pushing his chair out.

When they left the restaurant, it was already dark. Rain had begun to fall and an ominous fog was painting the horizon, blurring the edges of the cityscape. It was a quiet walk to the car, punctuated only by the sounds of crunching wet gravel underneath both men’s shoes. Mac tried to reassure himself that Dennis wasn’t standing further away from him than usual, and that the looming dread that made itself present in the restaurant wasn’t following them to the car. Things would be fine as soon as they got home, Mac told himself. They could salvage the evening. Put an action flick in the DVD player, drink a few beers and act like the previous night hadn’t happened. They could put it behind them like every other prior misstep they conveniently fail to talk about. Every time Mac had misread signals and gone in for a kiss, Dennis had always swerved, zagged, or bobbed. They always bounced back without missing a beat or two. This time, however, Mac felt like the pattern had been disrupted somehow. But whatever it took, he would make sure that things found a way back to their uncomfortable rhythm of status quo.

The car ride home seemed to take longer than usual, despite the fact that Dennis was going over the speed limit and taking turns nauseatingly sharp. Mac glanced over. Dennis’ expression looked sickened, and he was gripping the steering wheel too tightly, knuckles whitened with pressure. Mac kicked himself for investing too much emotion into tonight. He’d treated it too much like a date, but fuck that. They HAD been on a date. The adrenaline coursing through Mac’s blood was irritatingly evident; even when Dennis looked like he was going to kill them both, he was still drawn to him. He wanted to reach out, place his hand on his knee, but he was genuinely afraid that Dennis might jerk the wheel into a ditch, or worse, into oncoming traffic.

Dennis peeled into a darkened lot several blocks from their apartment, driving to the rear of a dilapidated, unoccupied building. This was it, Mac thought to himself. They were finally going to come to blows. Dennis was going to smear Mac’s face with his fists for making a mess of things, and Mac was going to let it happen. He deserved it. Dennis threw the gear shift into park and unfastened his seat belt.

Mac recoiled instinctively, desperately trying to reason with him one last time. “—Dennis. Wait, I --”

Before he could say another word, Dennis flung himself over the center console, and clutched Mac by his neck. It took only milliseconds to register the moment accurately, but Dennis had unmistakably pressed his lips to his. It was off center and almost painful, but Mac’s mouth immediately fell open slotting his lips together with his own. Neither man hesitated to draw their tongues together, and each let out their own private sigh of gratification. The kisses were desperate and hunger filled. Dennis squirmed in his seat, trying to get closer, but he was restricted by the arm rest wedged between them. Mac’s brain prickled with static, as he eagerly tried to catch his breath, without breaking the kiss. His body was thrumming with a current of warmth that sprung up like volcanic ash, singeing every nerve ending with a raw electricity. He prodded at his own seatbelt until he found the release. It snapped backward with a thud. He tilted his seat back several inches, and Dennis took the opportunity to gracelessly climb over the center console and straddle him. The new position took Mac by surprise, and the laugh that slipped from his throat was guttural.

“_Fuck, fuck, beyhh_”, he eked out, “hold on, hold on.” Mac exhaled meticulously, pulling himself away from Dennis. His heart and his head both felt like they were moments from splintering open from overstimulation. “You gotta give me a second, dude. I feel like I’m gonna pass out.” He chuckled in disbelief, pounding both fists onto Dennis’ parted thighs. He pressed his lips together, already swollen and tingling from contact. He gave Dennis’ legs a reassuring squeeze. 

Dennis leaned his head forward to Mac’s shoulder, taking a deep calculated breath in. “Sorry, just…you can’t go that long without kissing me, okay?”

“I…have been waiting twenty _thousand _years to kiss you, and you can’t wait a day?” Mac teased incredulously.

Dennis pulled his head back to meet Mac’s gaze. “I think you know what I mean, asshole.” He bit his lip, causing Mac to roll his eyes.

“And I think you know what biting your lip does to me”, he added pointedly, lifting his head. He spoke the words against Dennis’ mouth. “Every time you do that, it kills me.”

“I’ve noticed”, Dennis remarked, swooping down to press his tongue into Mac’s parted mouth. “After a while, I started doing it on purpose.”

They kissed like that for several unhurried minutes, familiarizing themselves with the way the other teased. Mac parted his legs as wide as he could, given their impromptu surroundings, allowing Dennis to settle in his lap. Mac was fairly certain Dennis was the best kisser he’d ever tasted. He knew just where and when to lick, nibble, and tease. The kisses were passionate and messy, a tangle of tongues and teeth, stifled moans and expletives. Mac felt the unmistakable heaviness of his erection as it started to thicken against the fly of his pants as their hips rocked together in an intensifying rhythm. Dennis was hard too. The realization made Mac’s erection flood with heat. “_Fuck_”, he said, breaking the kiss, to slide a hand in between them to adjust himself.

Dennis looked down, face twisted in discontent. “No way you just, did you just fuckin come?”

“No, dude”, he huffed out a laugh. “But I probably fuckin could if you keep that up, Jesus.”

Dennis stilled for a moment, “yeah”, he nodded in acknowledgment. “Yeah I think I could have too, honestly.”

They both fell silent for a moment.

“Do – I mean did you want—“ Dennis began to ask.

“Do I want you to make me _come_? Jesus Christ, Dennis, what do you think? I want nothing more than that.” He ran an open palm up and down the length of his thigh. “But…we. We should probably go slow, right? I mean…we’re in a goddamn parking lot dry humping in a car. What are we 14?”

Dennis sighed, leaning back on his haunches. “Yeah”, he said, clearing his throat. “Yeah, shit you’re right.”

Mac looked up at Dennis; shadows fell delicately on his face. He ran a thumb across one of his flushed cheeks. “For the record, I would be happy dry humping and kissing you till I jizz in my pants every day for the rest of my goddamn life.”

Dennis laughed at him, leaning down for one more kiss, before awkwardly pulling himself back over to the drivers’ seat, groaning as he straightened his legs from the uncomfortable position he had been hunched over in. “Me too”, he nodded, glancing over at his roommate. 

\--------------------

“Whoa, what the fuck”, Mac yelled in delayed realization, as the Range Rover pulled onto their block. “Did you say before that you used to bite your lip on PURPOSE?”

Dennis killed the ignition, and snapped his head toward his friend. “Uh hum yes, I did say that.”

Mac’s mouth fell open in horror, as he threw the car door open. “What? Why!?” Why didn’t you let me kiss you sooner, then! Damnit, Dennis!” He growled in ineffective frustration.

Dennis rolled his eyes, exiting the vehicle, to meet Mac on the other side of the curb. He made a tick noise with his tongue. “I dunno, dude. It’s complicated.”

“Please explain how it is complicated.”

“Well, for one, I’m not gay.”

“Oh, I’m very aware of that, and frankly, I don’t think I want you on my team, anyway.” Mac flicked his wrist dismissively at Dennis.

Dennis took a step forward, tugging on the edges of Mac’s unzipped jacket. “But, shit, man, I dunno. You and I have always had this” he gestured back and forth between the two of them. “This _bond_, I guess.”

“Bond”, Mac echoed his words, skeptically.

“Yeah, or something, I dunno. I realized that I didn’t, that I wasn’t fighting it for the right reasons anymore. And after all this time, I guess, I just ran out of reasons.” Mac’s jaw clenched, and Dennis took another step forward. “I mean, we’ve basically been in a relationship for the better part of 20 years, haven’t we? Just now we get to…” Mac quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Look”, Dennis continued. “You know, I’m not good. With, I, my feelings. I’m--”

Mac’s mouth unfurled into a wide grin, “I’m fuuuucking with you, dude”, he laughed, dodging a half-attempted swat from Dennis. “It’s payback for the lip biting thing, I just wanted to see you squirm, especially since neither one of us will be coming tonight.” 

Dennis rolled his eyes and scoffed. “You’re such a goddamn prick!”

Mac wrapped his arm around Dennis, pulling him in toward his waist, as they entered the threshold of their apartment. “I know, but now that I know how much you LOVE me, I have so much more LEVERAGE.” He looked over at Dennis whose face was deep magenta. He took a mental note of how good this moment felt, and admitted only to himself, that he probably wouldn’t be able to take things slow for very long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the payoff part of this chapter is based on a very real experience of mine from many years ago. When your irrefutable connection with someone grows stronger than the definition of your relationship (friends? Lovers? Caught in between?) and time passes after your first kiss and you’re desperate to find yourselves back into a rhythm, but the song has changed and there you are...
> 
> x
> 
> I am planning an epilogue that should be up in a few days. : ) Happy reading, leave a comment, or find me on Tumblr! Either way, thank you as always for reading.


	3. Where Do We Go From Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dennis’ embarrassment was putrid and spreading like an unwieldy wildfire thoughout his body. His legs felt like they could wilt and dissolve, turning him into a puddle on the floor. Maybe that was what the yuck puddle used to be. A person whose humiliation grew so rapidly, it turned the poor asshole into a viscous amorphous blob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was lovingly beta read by fellow MacDen Tinfoil Pepe Silvia Hatter @captain_trips 
> 
> Ladies and gentlemen, it has been an honor shipping with you.

The feeling of knuckles pressed into his abdomen was the first sensation Dennis was made aware of the next morning when he stirred from his slumber. It took a few moments for his thoughts to coalesce before he remembered that he had spent another night beside Mac. Without opening his eyes, Dennis nestled into a more comfortable position in bed, replaying the events of the prior evening in his mind.

They had only gotten 15 minutes into the movie _Speed _before resuming what they’d started in the Range Rover. Fortunately, both of them were turned on by the thrill of cheesy action films, even ones they’d seen dozens of times – so it was unsurprising that it only took the first threat of imminent onscreen danger to reignite the mood. They hadn’t bothered to check whether their Air BnB guests had left. Rather, they stumbled aimlessly into Mac’s bedroom, a jumble of hands and lips and tongues. And they’d had sex – rough, frantic and dirty sex – twice. Dennis winced a little bit at the memory. The first time was rushed, neither one of them had even gotten fully undressed. Mac was still wearing his boxers, and Dennis, his shirt. They’d removed everything the second time because their clothing was thoroughly stained with come and sweat.

“_You’ll see_”, Mac had told him in a post coital daze. “_Having sex with dudes is so much more better._” Dennis had to admit that although Mac was probably right, this was all happening very fast, and in this moment, he was beginning to panic.

Mac must have sensed the mild disturbance in Dennis’ mood, because a soft groan fell from his lips as he pulled Dennis in closer, leaning inward for a semi-conscious kiss.

Dennis pulled away slightly, dodging the advance. “Come on, man”, he protested.

Mac furrowed his gaze, looking mildly offended. “Is it my breath?”

Dennis clicked his tongue. “No, Mac, but shit, man. I don’t wake up next to people, alright? I don’t kiss anybody, let alone first thing in the morning. You gotta ease up a little bit. I’m on board, but you gotta give me some time to catch up.”

Mac’s expression was unreadable, but he trailed his fingers lightly up the length of Dennis’ thigh before resting a hand on his hip. He cocked a playful eyebrow at Dennis. “Does that apply to morning sex as well?”

“Yes”, Dennis replied affirmatively. “We have had sex twice without so much as a shower. I don’t want your dick near me right now. No offense.”

“So what you’re saying is you want to shower together?” Mac inferred.

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this conversation, I am going back to my room”, Dennis kicked the comforter off himself and grabbed his boxer briefs off the floor, hiking them up to his waist.

He pulled open the bedroom door and was met with a very displeased looking Lisa who was standing in the foyer, luggage in hand.

“Oh, shit”, Dennis exclaimed, mildly startled by the presence of a stranger in his home so early in the morning.

She sighed, seemingly unimpressed by the sight of a bare-chested Dennis.

“So this has been…” Lisa scoffed, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Weird. Um if, Mac, wakes up, give him, well, here’s the key.” She slid the small metallic key onto the kitchen counter. It made an irritating scraping noise that Dennis tried his hardest to ignore.

Still jarred by her presence, he blinked at her several times and tracked her movements wordlessly as she exited the front door without looking back.

At that moment, Mac emerged, clad in sweatpants and a cutoff shirt to observe the commotion. “Ah, shit. Was that Lisa? Did she seem pissed?”

Dennis huffed out a sigh. It was evident that holding onto any irritation was going to be a waste of time considering how short Mac’s attention span was. _This will make for a fruitful relationship_, he thought, sardonically. “It was”, he answered, retrieving the key from the counter.

“Do you think…they heard us bangin last night? Is she gonna give us a bad rating you think?” Mac’s expression was youthfully abashed.

Dennis chortled involuntarily. “She will undoubtedly give us a bad rating”, he acknowledged, exchanging sympathetic looks with his roommate. “But, hey, at least we got that…romcom ending you were looking for after all, didn’t we”, he offered, pushing aside some of his trepidation, and smirking playfully at the other man.

***

Several hours later, they made their way to Paddy’s to open the bar. It was still mid-morning, so the rest of the gang wouldn’t schlep their way in for some time. In spite of this, Dennis was still noticeably nervous, and baulked at every sound, even the ones solely in his imagination.

“Will you stop flinching”, Mac’s tone was bordering on petulant. He rounded the corner of the bar, and leaned forward on his elbows to give Dennis his trademark puppy dog eyes. His bottom lip was curled inward between his teeth. “We’ll hear anyone before they come in, man. Besides, we’ll have to tell them eventually.” 

“Says who”, scoffed Dennis, twisting the cap off a bottle of Coors, and handing it to Mac, before grabbing a second one for himself.

Mac folded his arms across his chest, and lifted his chin to elongate his neck. “Well, you’re certainly not pulling me back in the closet with _you_.”

Dennis made a disgruntled noise with his throat and slammed his palm down on the bar countertop. “_I am not fucking closeted, Mac. Jesus._” He squared his shoulders and paused to adjust his demeanor before continuing. “I just…This…_Us_…Is – Can’t we just…goddamn let this be about us for _just_a few seconds before letting the gang muck it up like you know they will?”

This seemed to amuse Mac, because he smiled deviously at Dennis, leaning further into his personal space.

Dennis rolled his eyes. “Goddammit, you’re fucking with me again, aren’t you –“ He pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “You are so irritating, Mac I – “

Mac ducked down to kiss Dennis in an effort to shut him up. Instinctively flinching again, Dennis pulled back, dodging his advances yet again. 

Unfazed, Mac smirked at his ornery companion. “Will you relax, Dennis? Before –“ His threat was cut off by Dennis hauling him in by the front of his shirt and pressing him up against the bar. Dennis immediately melted into the increasingly familiar feeling of Mac’s commanding lips against his own. Sure, it was still a bit clumsy and imperfect, but he found that he relished the sparks of adrenaline which renewed him each time their mouths parted and tongues made contact. He wasn’t sure how many moments had passed, but he was certain that he was already growing far too accustomed to the fire that Mac’s touch provided him. He decided in that moment that he was in no way ready to give any of this up, and if that meant coming out to his friends as…whatever this was, (Mac-rosexual, perhaps? It didn’t matter right now), then so be it.

“_Jeeeeeeesus Christ_.” The sound of Dee’s shrill voice startled them both, causing them to jump back like exploding shrapnel.

The two men turned to face the expressions of dismay, horror, and confusion emanating from Frank, Dee, and Charlie respectively. Dennis’ embarrassment was putrid and spreading like an unwieldy wildfire throughout his body. His legs felt like they could wilt and dissolve, turning him into a puddle on the floor. Maybe that was what the yuck puddle used to be. A person whose humiliation grew so rapidly, it turned the poor asshole into a viscous amorphous blob.

Mac made a noise that sounded unfamiliar to Dennis. “We weren’t – this wasn’t”, he struggled to form a sentence, gesturing between Dennis and himself in desperation. “He had a…” Mac trailed off before wincing in defeat. He shot an apologetic look at his crimson friend who had been silently pleading with him for a bail out.

“Well it’s about goddamn time, if you ask me”, Charlie said matter-of-factly, pulling out a barstool and plopping himself in front of a bowl of peanuts. He retrieved an egg from his pocket and began unceremoniously peeling it open, visibly unaffected by this new development. 

“That’s what I said, that’s what I said!” Mac echoed, immediately conceding, with a pleased grin on his face.

“Mac”, Frank interrupted, brazenly. “What the shit is this? I thought you and I were closer than that. After everything we went through in that goddamn prison, you whore yourself out to this bastard man? I’m disappointed in you, son, I think you can do much better ‘an him.”

Dennis scoffed in disbelief. “Excuse me. _Son_? Jesus, Frank, he’s not your son. Not to mention I’m standing right here. You think he can do better than me? What is wrong with you. You should be happy for me, goddammit. I knew this would happen.”

“Lighten up you prick, I am happy for youse. Besides, we had bets goin’ on when you two would finally cut the bullshit and get together. I was just hoping you’d end up being less of an asshole when it did happen”, Frank continued, taking a seat, before gesturing to Charlie and Dee. “Pay up, by the way.”

“Unbelievable”, Dennis remarked, throwing his hand up in defeat and walking to the end of the bar, and turning back to face Mac. “This is your fault, by the way”, he added, tipping his beer bottle toward him.

Mac shrugged without a response and nodded, smiling at his roommate. Dennis could feel the familiar irritation ebbing inside of him, but it lacked the same acidic tinge that would have otherwise caused him to have an outburst. The overwhelming catharsis of the last few days was all too evident, and he could already feel that this dynamic shift was softening his edges. He wasn’t sure if this feeling would last, but for now, he was content with surrender. Besides, he had plans to take this out on Mac later, for many, many hours. 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been thinking about this episode for far too long. Yell at me on all the socials for this chicanery. @hotbons


End file.
